


let it begin with you

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Series: petal soft grenades (saphael poetry) [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Daylighter Simon, M/M, POV Second Person, POV Simon Lewis, Poetry, a soft death for climon, short poems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 01:16:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10425993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: her eyes are bloodshot and there's an irony there-a certainty quietly blooming since blood meant *him*you couldn't have known, you never saw it comingbut if you had, you would've kissed him under the stars one more time(she does not need to know this)





	

 

* * *

 

1\. the sun beats down on your back

sweat forms maps in a language you will never speak

cumulonimbus in a roar that drowns out moonlight

and stars

so many cityscape stars

each one a midnight you will not get to kiss him awake to

the sun burns hot and sticky 

and _you miss_  

_him_

 

 

2\. it gets easier, they say

breathing without air

sleeping with empty arms

gasping life and his name like a fish on dry land

they cannot save you -

he will not save you

losing him is the hardest path you've ever walked

 

 

3\. you left your heart between his teeth

under the pillow that no longer smells of him

in between her kisses and the lies you pray through

the crook of his neck where he tastes the sweetest 

the absence of truth is the jacket you never returned

the heart you let him keep 

the hushed whisper of

  _'I love you more than the blood in your veins'_

if you tell her enough, she will believe it

if the sun rises

her name will not taste as sugar-coated as his 

but you will tell yourself it does 

(you will swallow it anyway) 

 

 

4\. his hands are barbed wire wrapped in cotton candy

when they dig into your skin they leave behind evidence 

of betrayal

of the mourning he will not let himself feel

but _his thumbs-_

his thumbs are are petal soft grenades

pressing into a collarbone he once branded with loving kisses

 

+

his hands are missing yours

he tightens his grip

he is not ready to let go

or _die trying_

he says

(you would if it meant forgiveness)

+

 

his hands are cemetary dirt that once built coffins of sky blue blankets

litanies lovingly hummed against the dip in your neck

even now they clutch the dead and shake life into the damned 

but -

you're in a purgatory where his lips are not yours to kiss

(you've no choice but to let go)

 

 

5\. her eyes are bloodshot and there's an irony there-

a certainty quietly blooming since blood meant _him_

you couldn't have known, you never saw it coming

but if you had

you would've kissed him under the stars one more time

(she does not need to know this)

you would've loved him as thorns to a wild rose

all blood tipped and wild abandon

(she does not need to know this)

 _'give one of us a happy ending,'_ she says

_'let it begin with you'_

 

 

6\. touching him is turning the body into an earthquake

the trembles, the pressure

still hearts as faultlines 

see, here are the scars where we broke together

that jagged line is 

_kill them_

the clean cut to the right is 

_is it too late to put her back-_

(place clary back on the shelf)

(shove camille in the closet)

when you kiss him you leave sparks of sunshine

_this is how loving you feels -_

_warm_

 

 

7\. limbs tangle in damp sheets

his scent on the pillow

your lips on the nape of his neck

your words against the shell of his ear-

_'I was an idiot'_

_'thank you for loving me'_

for creaking boathouse doors and watching his back as he left

_'I was an idiot'_

_'I'm sorry'_

(I'm choosing you everyday)

fangs scrape a tendon- 

_'I love you like sunlight'_

 like a sky full of stars 

he smiles -

_'a happy ending is where we never end'_

(baby I'm chasing an eternity with you)

 

* * *

 

 

 

 


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